SPOOF on TITAN
by Allison Frost
Summary: Random collection of mini shorts with different humor filled chapters! Some chapters may have heavy swearing, alcohol reference, and/or sexual harassment... Be warned and be prepared to laugh at your favorite SNK character! :3


**A/N: I obviously use "so" a lot in my author notes. But, I'm going to try to stop that. Anyways, I've been on break for a couple of days now and been busy just drawing on my tablet. I also want to get back to writing/continuing stories on my fanfiction. "All of Me" will be coming out with another chapter shortly however, since I'm on an Attack on Titan and Black Butler reading frenzy, I decided to make a multi-chapter comedy for AoT called "Spoof on Titan." If any of you guys have good scenarios, please let me know. Thanks a bunch and this is merely meant for your enjoyment and nothing more! :3**

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_**SPOOF on TITAN**_

_Chapter One: Anti-Titan Circle! (Seabear attack from Spongebob)_

Eren (Squidward): Ahhh... what a beautiful day. Not a single titan in sight! ^3^

*Mikasa and Armin appear beside him*

Mikasa (Patrick): Eren, I wouldn't say such things. Haven't you heard the news?

Eren: *stops and glares at Mikasa* What are you talking about? O.O

Armin (Spongebob): There is this one titan that keeps appearing. She's super scary looking and the professionals say that the only way to stop a titan like her is to draw an anti-titan circle in the dirt.

Eren: Anti-titan circle? Who thought of such a stupid method of titan protection!?

Mikasa: *holds up "The Wall Maria Inquirer" slowly* -3-

Eren: *takes index finger and skims through article* I married a titan? WHAT THE HELL IS THIS SHIT?! I DON'T BELIEVE ANY OF THIS TRASH! ONE DOES NOT SIMPLY PUT "MARRIED" AND "TITAN" IN THE SAME SENTENCE! O^o

Armin: But, Eren, it's in fine print. Experts say that the only way to protect yourself is an anti-titan circle! They even tell you what attracts them, too! T_T

Eren: *lowers eye lids with a smirk* And what are those things that attract them? :)

Armin: Well... they say to not scream loudly, call them ugly, shoot things at them... 0_o

Eren: *pulls out note pad and takes notes* Yes. Uh huh. What else?

Mikasa: *takes deep breath* Stupidity, running directly at one, making unecessary sounds, blood from an idiot, screaming "TITAN! TITAN! TITANNNNN!"...

Armin: Oh and whatever you do... DON'T...

Mikasa: DON'T...

Eren: *eyes get wide* Yeah, yeah, YEAH?!

Mikasa and Armin: *whispers* Don't say the Female Titan fights like a girl! o3O

Eren: *reads over notes* Wow... I didn't realize how many things could set off a Female Titan. And you know what?

Armin: What? ._.

Eren: I get the feeling we're all in danger now...

Mikasa: What makes you say that? O.o

Eren: *starts screaming and does everything listed above*

Armin: NOOOOO! T_T

Mikasa: Well... shit. Quick, Armin. Draw the anti-titan circle! O-O

Armin: OK! *takes blade and draws circle around him and Mikasa*

_***Five minutes later...***_

Eren: Ha! I did everything you said and no Female Titan!

Armin: *whispers* That's... that's because you have to say the female titan fights like a girl in a cocky way...

Eren: Oh! I'm soooorrryy! *clears throat* WOW! THE FEMALE TITAN TOTALLY FIGHTS LIKE A GIRL! I MEAN HER HITS ARE JUST SO WEAK AND HORRIBLE! I COULD TOTALLY TAKE HER ON NO PROBLEM! YOU HEAR THAT, FEMALE TITAN?! COME GET SOME, BITCH!

Mikasa: Welp... he's a goner... *rolls eyes*

Armin: Yup... o.O

Eren: HA! SEE? NO FEMA-...

Female Titan: *heavy breathing and shadows over Eren*

Eren: *turns around and gulps* Oh... hey there... how's the weather up there?

Female Titan: DSFDGFDGFDGFDSGFDGSFD! *roars*

Eren: SHIT, SHIT, SHIT! *runs quickly*

Armin: NOOOOOOO! EREN! TITANS HATE RUNNING! U.U

**_*Female Titan mauls Eren and leaves*_**

Eren: I guess I'll just limp...

Armin: NOOOOOO! TITANS HATE LIMPING, TOO!

_***Female Titan comes back and mauls Eren again and leaves***_

Eren: ...I guess I'll just crawl... X.x

Armin: NOOOOOOO! TITANS HATE CRAWLING EVEN MORE THAN RUNNING!

_***Female Titan attacks again and leaves***_

Mikasa: *tosses blade to Eren* Here. Draw an anti-titan circle!

Eren: Okkkk... *draws one*

_***Female Titan strikes again***_

Mikasa: It has to be a circle, not an oval! -3-

Eren: ... *draws another*

_***Female Titan mauls Eren yet again and leaves***_

Eren: What'd I do that time? T_T

Mikasa: I don't know. I guess she doesn't like you!~

Eren: MOVE OVER! *jumps on top of Mikasa and Armin*

_***Female Titan comes back and sees circle***_

Female Titan: Grrrr... *points at Eren and gestures a punch in her hand while leaving*

Eren: Phew... *exhales*

Armin: Well... at least it was just the Female Titan. This circle would never protect us from Levi, though.

Eren: *wide-eyed* What attracts him? O.o

Mikasa: The sound of an Female Titan attack. But it's all good. We're all clean and tidy.

Levi: *appears with evil glare* |o^o|

Eren: Oh... yeah... totally... O.o

**-THE END OF CHAPTER 1-**


End file.
